Sunday, June 23, 2013

An Unofficial and Semi-inappropriate Review of "Superman: Man of Steel"

Christopher Reeve as Superman
A classic story, re-told time and time again, it started as  comics and ended up on the big screen.....multiple times. The story of an alien from another planet who looks just like any other human but due to the earth's proximity to the sun, he possesses a strength and indestructibility that is anything but human. That's right, I'm talking about superman. Yes, I saw "Man of steel".....and yes I am going to share with you my completely unprofessional and biased opinions on this film.
However, before we get to the knitty gritty, allow me to indulge myself for a moment.  It would seem that superman somehow manages to be blessed with the one in a million gifts of indestructibility  enormous strength, and a nearly perfect morality.....but this isn't where it ends. Another trait bestowed upon him, and potentially the only thing that is consistent in all of the many reincarnations of this story, is how ridiculously attractive Clark (superman) Kent is.
Tom Welling as Clark Kent
Somehow, they manage to find someone more and more attractive each time they cast the role. When I was a youngin I remember watching the old superman with Christopher Reeve and thinking "daayyuuum" he's got it goin on.
 Then I discovered "Smallville," the WB's series on Clark Kent's life before superman. A good five years of my pre-teen and teenage years were spent oogling over Tom Welling (the actor who played Clark Kent), the highlight of which was seeing him in person once at brunch. Fast forward a few years to 2006 and "Superman Returns" starring Brandon Routh comes out and all I can think is "Okay, now they've done it, they have finally found the most attractive superman.They can just stop looking now, cause it's over."
Brandon Routh as Superman
I developed a crush on this man halfway through the movie. I am NOT superficial, just an excellent judge of character (why yes, you can judge someone's character based on their acting in a movie and their physical features. It's a thing, I swear.) A subsequent googling left me oh-so-slightly dissapointed to find that he wore blue color contacts for the movie, but still super attractive nonetheless. However, don't you worry, because this time I've done my research and there are no color contacts here.......just 100% glory. So you've pretty much figured out that I believe this newest superman (Henry Cavill, since I know you're gonna do some googling of your own) is even more attractive than his predecessors, like mind-blowingly so. How is this even possible?!?
Henry Cavill.........the end
I mean, they are all literally too attractive, and now Henry Cavill comes along and makes all of his predecessors look like that kid in high school who you actually aren't quite sure what he looks like (he's always kind of just a blur, even when he's not moving; and his name is Melville, or Marcus....and all you know is that he's not the janitor because once he tried to ask you to be his lab partner and for a second you were confused about why the janitor is in your chem lab.....and then you connected the oh-so-distant dots......but he's still a blur, a blur who smells like hair and bandaids).
 Even if you can't identify with that super long parenthetical  you know what I mean.
This Henry Cavill is literally out of this world (haha, get it? Cause superman is from another world.....) I challenge mankind (mainly hollywood casting agencies, but anyone else who's up for the challenge too) to find a finer specimen of the human male......but if you do, definitely send him my way.

Okay, now that that's over I can tell you what I thought of the movie....
In a word: RIDICULOUS. Ridiculously, mind-blowingly, awesome that is. I like to think that I am quite a harsh critic of movies (my best friend and I have taken it upon ourselves to be very selective about movies, and we are critical of most films, even the ones that we like) and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this is one of the best movies that I have seen in the last few years. The acting is superb, the casting is great (although I am somewhat ambivalent about Lois Lane as a red-head), and the depth of the plot is a revelation. Yes, there were the cliche "damsel in distress" moments and the cliche "superman questions his choices and has trust issues moments," but they are essential to the story and done quite well. The film strikes a great balance between explaining and tying in Superman's past and his planet's story with his growth into the [super]citizen of earth, Clark Kent, that we have grown to know and love. Although the overall story and the characters are nothing new, the director, writers, cast, and crew have managed to breath new and exciting life into this classic.
Another one for good measure.....
Lets address the action and special effects. Obviously this movie makes heavy use of special effects, but it is done very well. Everything was so realistic and the costumes were quite awesome. They gave the superman costume a mini-makeover (a little sleeker, a little less cartoon-ish) and I have to say it worked out for the best. Yes, there are fight scenes, but they really don't feel drawn out or overdone (or worse, over-acted) and the special effects just enhance what's going on plot-wise rather than overshadowing it (AHEM "Avatar" I'm looking at you....).
I don't want to write about any details because spoilers are actually the worst thing on this planet (other than vengeful villains who will stop at nothing to bring down superman), but suffice it to say that this film really is a must see. If nothing else convinces you, consider the fact that I have seen at least 30 new movies since the time I started this blog and this is the first one I liked enough to actually write about. Just be thankful I had the will power to focus on anything other than superman's ridiculously good looks for long enough to realize that this movie was actually awesome.

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